What Are You Doing for National Coming Out Day?

In the wake of the Bishop Eddie Long scandal and recent gay suicides, author Dale Madison releases his second book, Sissy Sammy in the Land of WEHO 90069. The story, an illustrated fairytale tackling the coming out of the closet experience, follows Sammy, an effeminate boy from Compton who ends up in West Hollywood after a bullying experience trying to find his way back home. The Wizard of Oz inspired story addresses homophobia, gay bashing, suicidal thoughts, name-calling and the history of the gay rights movement.

 

As part of National Coming Out Day, Dale Madison, will hold a staged reading of Sissy Sammy for In The Meantime Men’s Group, a Los Angeles community service organization that enriches, empowers, and extends the lives of inter-generational black men, respectful of sexual orientation, through social, educational, health and wellness programs and services. 

• Tragically, LGBT youth are taunted, harassed, bullied and even worse. One in four becomes homeless after coming out to their parents.
• The risks to LGBT youth during their adolescent years are greater than heterosexual youth because of the need to please parents can also involve suppressing same-sex desires and behaviors triggering negative emotional responses. This triggers isolation when combined with peer pressure, suicide seems like the easy way out.

 

Dale Madison has always given himself permission to be out the closet. He explains that in detail in his memoir, Dreamboy: My Life as a QVC Host & Other Greatest Hits. Madison is currently in a Masters in Education program at Antioch University. His thesis tackles the use of arts as a way to make an impact on LGBTQ youth at risk of suicide and bullying 

“This book is my first step at trying to make an impact on these kids. I have been working on this project for two years, but I could never have imagined the number of suicides to come out of the last month. I feel like something is about to change in the horizon for LGBT people.” says Madison. “In a strange way, I almost have to thank Eddie Long. Out of this horrible scandal, maybe the Black church will start dealing with homosexuality differently, but most importantly people will begin to understand why we cannot stay in a closet.”

He references pop culture musical lyrics and gay figures quotes come from Audre Lorde, Christine Jorgenson, Bayard Rustin, and James Baldwin. Madison offers vocabulary words and discussion questions as a foundation of a lesson plan.

“I read the story to a group of youth at LifeWorks, a gay mentoring program in the LA Gay & Lesbian Center.” Madison adds,” I wanted their take on the stereotypes. Many of them identified with the characters as real people in their lives. One kid raised his hand and asked what rough trade was. I answered think rent boy and he got it. I laughed to myself:

Oh my God, I think we have a gay generation gap here!”

WHO: author Dale Madison

WHAT: FREE staged reading of Sissy Sammy in the Land of WEHO 90069

WHEN: 7:30 PM Tuesday: October 12, 2010

WHERE: In The Meantime Men’s Group 4067 W. Pico Blvd. LA CA 90019

For more info: 323-733-4868 or 323-758-1337 info@damngoodman.com or inthemeantimemen@aol.com

I NEED MUSCLES

Inspirations for blogs come at the strangest moments. I was in the tree pose in yoga class,back aching and tummy trembling. I looked at the skinny male instructor executing each pose with ease and remembered I used to teach an aerobics class back in the 80’s. (Sidebar: If I were a heterosexual man in the back of a yoga class, I’d be in ass heaven There were only three guys in the class today and they were further back in the room than me!) The music of Inda Arie was gently taking me to that place in the practice where we say “namaste” (I bow to you) but my mind wanderd to Diana Ross, Muscles:

She said she wants a man to always understand

But that's alright for her, still it ain't enough for me

She said she wants a guy to keep her satisfied

But that's alright for her, but it ain't enough for me

They say they have to see his real personality

But that's alright for them, still it ain't enough for me

I need what the eyes can see, ah

(HIS ANATOMY)

My fellow blogger Corey Jarrell hit me up the other day humorously frustrated by the slim attractive looks of these young boys now-a-days. It was ironic that I was in the second week of my dedicated 5 days a week commitment to the gym. I had been going irregularly. Mostly I go to my yoga class on Thursdays and Sundays and since I bought my new Vibrams, (great for walking, hiking or jogging. My legs really feel the burn)

I’d been doing a 30 minute treadmill with Supremes disco mixes on my IPod. I recently had a rude awakening. My weight, which had stabilized at 216lbs, suddenly jumped 7 lbs to 223lbs! Then I read a Facebook posting from my diva girl Mashica who said that Satan had recently jumped on her scale and was exactly seven pounds! I upped my cardio to 60 minutes and went back to circuit weights! This was as scary as those bedbugs infesting all across the country!

If that's alright for them, still it ain't enough for me

I don't care if he's young or old, just make him beautiful

I just want some strong man to hold on to,

I want MUSCLES

Now I can admire a muscle man on television and magazines all day long, but when it comes to “luvin” in the bedroom, I LOVES me some chubby men. I loves me sum chubby, BUT I do not want to be chubby. I know it sounds weird in the body-obsessed society we live in. I am an admitted chubby chaser. I like my men to have a little jiggle in their swagger. I prefer to rub a round tummy like a Buddha for good luck. Man boobs are a turn-on. Rock hard abs, sculpted arms and an ass to bounce a dime off are great at a strip show, but in bed, I need to feel flesh that moves. I even recorded a poem about it (“Big Boiz” click #6 on the Sound Click player to the right):

Make him strong enough from his head down to his toes 

And don’t get me to talking about toes! During my shallow years, my friends can testify I have dated some awful men just because they had pretty feet and let some of the most wonderful guys pass me by because of some jacked-up toes!

Muscle man, I want to love you in the sun, oil on your body

Come with me, high in the cascades

Let this be, we've got this thing made

Lost at sea, hide the desert

Stay with me, you won't regret it

Take this love, so deep to swim in

Come to me, and let the love in

She said she wants a man to always understand

But that's alright for her still it ain't enough for me

I don't care if he's young or old

(Just make him beautiful)

I used to tell people years ago the other thing Oprah and me had in common besides Baltimore was the fact our weight zoomed up and down. During my adult years, I watched my waist go from 29 inches to 38 inches. During my modeling years, I worked as a fit sample model. I could wear the sample suits right off the racks for the buyer’s shows. Then I got into a relationship. When you are attracted to thick boys, you forget part of the courtship involves eating. I like my thick boys (and girls) happy and food makes them happy, so we eat! Two years with my wife gained me 20lbs, which I lost after the divorce, but the next seven with my partner had me finding that 20 plus 10 more pounds over the course of that roller-coaster ride of a relationship. That became my pattern. Lose the weight and find a thick sexy man and then get happy and gain the weight back.


By the time I hit my forties the additional factors of high blood pressure and cholesterol added risk factors that made losing weight more of a necessity than a pleasure principal. The only difference this time was as you get older, dropping weight is a bit more of a challenge. Less physical social activity like going to the disco, teaching aerobic classes and biking to work and more social activity like good red wine, cheese, red velvet cake and feeding ya man chocolate covered strawberries in bed became the norm. A few years ago, I grabbed hold of my waistline and did a reality show called Ship Up Shape Out and lost some weight on a seven day cruise to lose.



It is time to get those disciplines back. The weight crept up on me this time and I wasn’t even in love! NOW I’ve got to work that body. Now whenever a dude hits on me and asks “Why is a nice guy like you single?” I have to be honest and answer, “Being single is healthier for me, I eat less, exercise more and I can get into my favorite clothes.” I still crave my big boiz, but I can even only have them in moderation…30minsB4midnight

Still, I don't care if he's young or old

(Just make him BIG & Beautiful)

I just want someone I can hold on to!!

No Matter what SEX you are... We gonna be married we are

Adapted lyrics from:

Supremes No Matter What Sign You Are Lyrics

The moon shines bright above

And the courts declare it’s my night for love

Ah the beat of my heart

I feel a good vibration

Saying you and me baby

Would make a good combination

There's no need for Prop 8 to survive

Can't you see the law is defied!

I love you boy,

Now I can marry you boy

No matter what sign you are

You're gonna be mine you are

Can't let the homophobes chart our destiny

When I heard the news that Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker overturned California's gay-marriage ban Wednesday in a landmark case that could eventually force the U.S. Supreme Court to confront the question of whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to wed, I wanted to dance and shout it to the rooftops. I did not because I was standing in my jockstrap in the locker room of a local gym. One television plays ESPN non-stop and the other plays CNN. I watched as the naked towel draped men slowly approached the television in silence. Many said nothing. It made me think where I was when I heard the Rodney King verdict or where I was when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. The reporter repeated it over and over again:

"Proposition 8 singles out gays and lesbians and legitimates their unequal treatment," the judge wrote in his 136-page opinion. "Proposition 8 perpetuates the stereotype that gays and lesbians are incapable of forming long-term loving relationships and that gays and lesbians are not good parents." Walker methodically rejected every argument posed by sponsors of the ban in response to a lawsuit filed by two gay couples who claimed Proposition 8, the voter-approved ban, violated their civil rights.

“OKAY, OKAY already!” One guy shouted at the screen. I smiled to myself and imagined how many guys in that locker room were gay like me cheering inside. I mean come on, raise your hand and snap your fingers if you do not know at least one gay person.  How many Americans know someone in their immediate family who is gay? It is generally argued that one person in ten is gay. The 2000 census report says 2-3% of the United States population live in same sex co-habitation. Gay people have existed since the beginning of recorded time.   I used to say to people put a face on gay. Try to put aside religious convictions, political affiliations or stereotypical images (rumors, falsehoods, urban legends). If a gay family member or gay friend you love wants to get married - but can’t - how would it make you feel?  Put their face on your image of gay marriage.

No matter what sex you are

You're gonna be married you are

The beat of the heart my love

Is stronger than the homophobes

This court order just lit my fire

Equal rights fill me with such desire

I love you boy,

Now I can marry you boy

No matter what sex you are

You're gonna be mine you are

I know the final stages of this decision will not be felt for years, but I imagine all the things that will happen as a result of gay marriage. Gay couples are able to care for each other in times of adversity rather than relying on the state. Healthy same sex marriages provide positive role models for young gay people. Recognizing those images could reduce the number of gay teen suicides. Gay sons and daughters will feel more involved in the activities of adult family life. . The need for adoptive homes of children in general would benefit from gay marriage. Gay couples seek to adopt children because they cannot conceive in the traditional sense. The result is more children get to find homes of loving families. The emergence of the gay family unit goes beyond gay teens. Gay marriage would allow same sex couples with the same basic rights heterosexual people take for granted. Gay people have children and those children need the stability and economic security provided by legal marriage. Both partners will have equal shares in legal and health decisions.  Families headed by same-sex couples would then have equal access to employer-provided health and retirement benefits.  Gay spouses would be entitled to the same sick and bereavement leave to care for a legal partners and non-biological/adoptive children.  Equal access to pensions, workers compensation, Social Security death benefits and spousal benefits would be taken for granted.  How does it feel to have a civil right denied your sister or her children from a gay union, because of her sexual orientation or lesbian relationship? Put your most beloved family member’s face in that situation.

Can't let the homophobes chart our destiny

Oh no matter what sex you are

You're gonna be mine you are

Need you beside me love

Only you can guide me love

Marriage is an important heterosexual cultural symbol and a good example of how white heterosexuals are privileged.   Marriage is the last legally sanctioned discrimination in America. It was not so long ago that interracial marriage was forbidden. The Supreme Court of the United States struck down laws banning interracial marriage in 1967. That same civil right should be extended to gays today. The opponents of interracial marriage hid behind religion and “family” values to justify denying mixed couples the right to marry. Since that ban has been lifted, we see the institution of marriage has hardly crumbled.  Ask a mixed race person today how they would feel if their parents had not been allowed to marry.

Lezzies, Sissies, Dykes

Trans, Bisexuals, Fem Queens

Lipsticks, Tops, Bottoms

Vers, Rough Trade, Drag Queens

I don’t care about your gender sign

All I know is when same sex lips touch mine

We can be legal boy, really legal boy

No matter what sex you are

You're gonna be mine you are

In fact, multiple marriages by celebrities make one wonder whether marital laws should limit the number of marriages for all people – gay and straight!  This glorious game of “I do” and “I don’t right now” has been played out numerous times by celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor who had eight husbands and Zsa Zsa Gabor who married nine times. Lana Turner said “I do” eight times, while Billy Bob Thornton bought five wives wedding rings. Joan Collins and Geena Davis had five husbands each, while Star Trek’s William Shatner only married four times. Liza Minnelli married four men as well, but two of her husbands were gay, which is okay because the gay person married a person of the opposite sex. Jerry Lee Lewis had six wives, and one of them was his underage cousin (which is legal in some states). Sometimes the number of heterosexual marriages pales in comparison to the length of the marriages. I texted my former domestic partner:

ME: “Will you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?”

He responded back from Texas

HIM: “LOL You got it! I know it is unconstitutional to refuse it!

ME: The fight ain’t over yet. If I were ever to get the right to marry somebody, it would be you”

HIM: “And I’d say yes”

ME: “What? This from the same guy who did not believe in marriage when we were             together?”

HIM: “LOL Well You know how that goes. If it is an equal institution, I’m cool with it”

(Yeah I know, just make sure it’s the right sized carat!)

On my bended knee…

30minb4midnight