Why Leopard?

In the eighties I did an animal print tribute to Diana Ross' Eaten Alive

People who discover my love of all things leopard tend to ask the inevitable question “What got you into leopard?” After a lively posting on Facebook this morning, I got to asking myself where this obsession came from. My earliest memory of enjoying leopard was back in 1976. 

I met a really sexy older guy who rocked my world. He was dark chocolate with a deep voice. The skin was smooth as butter all over. The first night we made love, he wore a very tight pair of bikini leopard-print underwear. I remember admiring them and the way they hugged his body. I eventually bought myself a pair. I still have them in fact. I can’t fit them anymore, but they hang on a lamp cord in my bedroom.

I don’t think I really owned anything else leopard until the 90’s. I started making African print cloth dolls when I was working for QVC. I was asked to make a collection of dolls to sell at Macy’s in Crystal City for Black History Month around 1992. I decided to make a leopard print collection. During that time, when I would make appearances as a doll designer, I tended to make myself a matching outfit. I made leopard print vests for my partner and myself to make us stand out from the crowd and draw attention to the doll collection.

When my partner and I ended our relationship about four years later, I was in a situation where I was finally allowed to decorate my own place. Most of my adult years, I either spent in relationships with a dominating men. When I was married to a woman, she was an artist and a fabulous designer, so I let her handle all that stuff. I realized I always had to compromise my tastes to compliment another person. On my journey to decorate my first official “single” apartment, I ran across a couple of leopard print rugs. I liked them and purchased them. Then I purchased more items to compliment them. I loved coordinating leopard. Suddenly it came to me one day through observation that leopard print appeared to be a pattern that never went out of style. I would notice it in old movies as well as new movies. In television shows, you could always tell the sinful character by the leopard print. In fact, when I was cast in Homicide: Life on the Streets as a prostitute, I wore a leopard print ensemble.

I have seen leopard worn classy and trashy. It popped up on something in every fashion season. I made the assumption that if I purchased something in leopard print, it would always be current. After that observation, I noticed leopard print everywhere so I started adding more pieces out of the fun of collecting. As a kid, I collected comic books, Motown records and as an adult I began collecting male action figures (dolls!) I considered my leopard print items another form of collecting.

When I moved to Los Angeles with my one-man show about a cross dresser named FREEda Slave, I needed to dress a piece of furniture. Leopard seemed like the obvious choice. I even had a leopard gown designed for the character with matching leopard shoes.

  

  The other thing I discovered when I moved to LA was 99-cent stores and Big Lots. Every week I would purchase an inexpensive leopard item. It was amazing. I could go every week and find a new leopard print item. It was like they knew I was coming. TJ Maxx & Marshalls have rows of leopard print accessories every week. My Mom bought me a leopard wallet that I will treasure until it falls apart. The cashier is always amazed when I pullout that huge leopard clutch wallet in the check out line 

For my 47th birthday, I decided to throw myself a leopard print party. My significant other at the time became very upset with me. We had shouting matches about it. His mom reminded him that if that was the only thing negative he could find to fight about, he was very lucky. She went out and bout me a leopard print manicure set. GOD I love that woman! He ended up surprising me by wearing a leopard print head wrap. That was the best birthday gift he could have given me.

My leopard purchases led to me being cast in a reality show for the Discovery Channel called “Over Designed.” My friends wrote in and told them about me and they came to my home “kinda” ambushed me like a drug intervention. I was whisked away into a hotel while they re decorated my home and removed the leopard. Then they come back six weeks later to see if you went back to your old ways. The 500-dollar fee they paid me, I used to purchase more leopard print. Unfortunately, the show never aired. What a hoot!

 I threw several leopard parties over the years and even had my family dress up in leopard print. My mother loved it! Someone told me once that old women really like leopard print. Now when I see a senior citizen wearing leopard it makes me smile. Recently I discovered a great website called:


www.TheLeopardPrintMonkey.com.www.TheLeopardPrintMonkey.com




My first purchase from them was a leopard print back pack, then I got a leopard mouse pad, a computer carrying case and several high-end leopard items. The wonderful thing about the internet is you can find other people in the world who share your love of anything seemingly odd. When I released my first book, the tour was nicknamed the “Leopard Tour.” I had all leopard print luggage and a different leopard outfit for every city where I did book signings. 

Wendy Williams launched her talk show the same year. When I learned she shopped on QVC and loved leopard print, I started an internet campaign to get on her show. I posted on Facebook “What leopard shoes should I wear on Wendy?” I had three choices and each show I named after one of the original Supremes.

I sent Wendy two copies of my book wrapped in leopard fabric. Sadly, the Queen of All Media did not respond to my leopard invitation. For the most part people find it funny or cute and it is a nice conversation piece. When I first started working with kindergarten kids and wore my leopard print converse all-stars, they used to say, “Mr. Madison has cheetah sneakers!” 

This led to a discussion of the difference between a cheetah print and a leopard print. (See how I made it educational!) They squealed in excitement by the fascination of it all. One day I was called in to substitute for a 7th grade English class in a very challenging area. I had a leopard print case for my cell phone a Verizon voyager at the time. One student remarked when my phone rang and I reached to turn it off, “Oh my God. He must be gay! No man would ever have a leopard print phone!” Everything went downhill after that with her shouting remarks about my sexuality and attacking me as a person. She was later suspended for bullying.

As my birthday approaches next week and my friends and family ask me what I want. The answer is always simple. This man can never have too much leopard. I saw a leopard print iPhone cover.(HINT) Wendy Williams was wearing a size 12 pair of leopard print boots that looked really cute. (HINT! HINT!) She and I wear the same size! I am not above wearing the opposite gender clothing especially when it is leopard. As someone said to me once, there are worse addictions to have. I don’t smoke crack. I don’t rob people. I am not a serial killer. I pay most of my bills on time. I just happen to collect leopard print.

I don't wanna get eaten alive
'Cos you're so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I don't wanna get eaten alive
'Cos you're so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I don't wanna get eaten alive
'Cos you're dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I don't wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive 

HOW REAL ARE THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA?

HOW REAL ARE THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA? 

I have been watching the latest season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I feel like I am watching Generations an all–black soap opera that ran on NBC 1989 to 1991. The clothes, the glamor, the bitchiness, the over the top acting, even the soft focus and make-up for the diva stars take me bring back the days of Dynasty, except it is shot on video tape instead of film. The difference with those soap operas and The Real Housewives is that we are expected to believe one is real and one is not. I think we have milked that cow for as much fresh dairy as we are going to get. Housewives reached it’s real highpoint season two with the infamous party planner, Anthony Shorter. There was nothing scripted or fake in that fiasco. Anthony Shorter pulled the wool over Sheree’s eyes, well at least temporary. Funny thing is, he did that to me, so I know. "That's right, BOOO"

Keep an Eye Keep an eye On your close friend

'Cause what you got they'll make you lose 

And then turn around and step in your shoes

I say they'll turn around And step in your shoes 

(From the Diana Ross & the Supremes Love Child album, 1968, and the Diana Ross album, 1970) 

Every famous person has both tales of success and tales of projects gone awry. Diana Ross had a concert debacle in 1983 when she held a free show in Central Park. The Showtime cable channel aired it live, and the revenue from the broadcast was supposed to go towards building a playground in Diana’s name. On the day of the show, not long after the performance began, rain started to pour down in an unforgiving torrent. The show was postponed until the next day, and on that day it drew over 500,000 people. Unfortunately, such a large and loosely policed crowd proved an easy target for muggers. Over a hundred people reported robberies during the second show, and some even reported assault. The city of New York incurred a number of lawsuits from victims of the attacks, who claimed that the city had failed to provide the needed security at the concert. The city settled the suits for millions of dollars and, to make matters worse, the television special didn’t even generate enough money to build the park. Consequently, Diana agreed to pay for the playground out of her own pocketbook.




For me, the film Gangsta Mafia was my Central Park before the storm. The project started out just like a sunny day in the park, and most of us involved were unaware of the approaching storm. However, the storm did come, and its name was Anthony Shorter. When I first met Anthony, he worked for Disney. I met him on AOL gay chat room. We tried dating for a minute, but I kept catching him cheating. Since there were no real romantic feelings, it was just simpler to be friends. Besides, he seemed to have connections. He took me to premieres and introduced me to celebrities like Lisa Raye, Rockmond Dunbar, AJ Jamal, and Derek Luke. These stars actually stopped by his office.

with Rockmond at SoundBoy. I am even in my official shirt

He was short, but he talked big. The planned name for the project was Gangsta Mafia and we would shoot it in twenty-two days. It was the story of the Italian mafia trying to take over the drug trade from two rival gangs in Los Angeles. Anthony and I created the story outline but my friend Darryl Wharton ghostwrote the actual screenplay. We knew the formula that Hollywood buys, so we were sure to include certain elements in the script. We had urban drama with the gangs. We had a love story between the mafia kingpin’s daughter and one of the gang members, echoing a Romeo and Juliet romance. We included rappers and comedians because we knew that Hollywood loves rappers and comics. We had hot heterosexual sex scene and an even hotter gay rape scene. The story ended with important, positive messages about the need for gang truces and unity.




Casting was a nightmare, with real gang members showing up to our offices to audition along with scores of actors from all over Los Angeles. So many talented people showed up. That’s when I learned how movies really get made -- the business is not about talented actors, it is about who will sell your film. I also witnessed the numerous favors a producer must call in to get a movie made. Anthony wanted to put his nephew, a budding rap artist, in the film. His nephew was actually very good, but Anthony later figured he needed someone who was already recognizable to audiences. He found a guy named Nomadd who said he was formerly a member of 50 Cent’s group G-Unit. Although it was hard to get Nomadd to do a convincing read, Anthony wanted to profit from the fact that he was part of the G-Unit posse. Therefore, he gave the lead role to Nomadd. Anthony also approached various local comedians about appearing in the film and, because he had worked with them previously, they were on board without too much drama. Then we got a headshot in the mail that made us all go, “What da fuck?” The name on the 8 by 10 glossy was Joey Buttafuoco.




Buttafuoco had become a media sensation back in 1992 when his underage mistress, Amy Fisher, shot his wife, Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face. Fisher received jail time for the shooting and Joey went to prison for having sex with a minor. However, television news and sitcoms couldn’t seem to get enough of him, and upon release from prison he moved to Hollywood to use his fifteen minutes of fame to secure a few movie roles. Anthony felt that Joey was our ticket to stardom. He cast Joey as the Italian mafia leader, although Joey had a Brooklyn accent. Joey was warm, kind, funny, and easy to get along with, and the role would be the biggest offered to him in a film at that time. Anthony started sending out press releases like there was no tomorrow, announcing Joey as one of the stars in Gangsta Mafia. Stories about Joey started popping up all over the internet. It made for great press, but in some cases, his notoriety presented an obstacle. As I was trying to secure product placement deals for the film, certain companies such as Ray-Ban would only send us product with the provision that Joey did not wear any of it. They did not want a celebrity like Joey, someone more infamous than famous, associated with their brand. Other companies would not have anything to do with us at all, simply because Joey was appearing in the film.






In general, things got progressively worse as the first week of filming wore on. Where Anthony had not set up credit accounts, he wrote checks, and he was writing them all over town for locations, trucks, and catering. He had even written Darryl and I checks to cover our living expenses during the production. On the seventh day of filming, as I was getting gas for one of the crew trucks, I realized something was wrong. My ATM card would not work at the pump. Because so many other things needed to be addressed at that moment, I did not have time to deal with the problem. We were shooting a very difficult scene that day, outdoors in Long Beach, with real gang members. It involved cars, guns, and a gay rape scene in an alley. Catering had not arrived on time, the craft services food had run out, and people were becoming hungry and disgruntled. Anthony was not on set and made himself very unavailable that day.

Now I see how she schemed and finally 

Worked her way in between 

She planted seeds of mistrust 

To make us fight unaware 

Her comforting ways when I would cry 

Shadowed the look of triumph in her eye 

Just like a snake on the limb of a tree 

A friend is an enemy you can see

Everything was going wrong. I was juggling too many hats to be effective in handling any one thing. When it was time to shoot the rape scene, we discovered that the main actor was wearing Mickey Mouse print boxers. Darryl turned to me to me and said, ”Get him in some white underwear, now!” Normally as producer, I would have told Darryl to kiss me where the sun don’t shine. However, since I was technically also the costumer for the film, I had to take responsibility. I did not have any white underwear handy and did not have time to run to a store, nor did I have any money to buy any. What I did next even I cannot believe to this day. I took the actor aside and explained the situation, telling him that the only pair of white underwear available was the pair that I was wearing myself. It was ninety-five degrees outside and we had been working since 4 a.m. The actor, a former gang member who had never acted in his life, said, “Let’s do this.” He put on my sweaty drawers, went out, and did his scene. I remain blown away to this day when I think about the dedication of that actor.

That night when I returned home, I checked my mail and found out that, my rent check had bounced and that my bank account was in a negative two thousand dollar deficit. I shut down filming for the next day. Funny thing is, the next day we were scheduled to shoot a jail scene with comedian Rodney Perry(of the Monique Show), Joey and Anthony, and ironically Anthony had cast himself in a cameo role as an inmate. On top of that, Joey was arrested two weeks later for something illegal with the IRS.

The devil's workshop is a busy place 

On top of evil there's an innocent face 

Oh, on top of evil he puts an innocent face 

She was just like a spider 

Only twice as smart 

We tried to give Anthony a chance to make things right. He claimed that he was going to settle the payroll issue and in a few days Darryl and I would be paid. All he needed to do was cut a trailer of the movie for the distributor, and then we would have the cash to keep filming. Darryl and I were skeptical, but we kept moving forward. After we began selecting scenes for the trailer, Anthony gave one of the cameras to Darryl so he could shoot extra street footage and the Los Angeles skyline. I worked with an editor over the weekend to select the best scenes to compose an eye-catching montage. I wrote the narrative for the trailer and taped my voice-over standing in Anthony’s tub. The bathroom had become our makeshift recording studio, and it made me think of the famous “Snake Pit” at Hitsville. To create the "Motown Sound," Berry Gordy housed the recording studio in the tiny basement of the building known as Hitsville. It was nicknamed “the Snake Pit."





The real problem hanging over our heads was that the cast and crew were due wages during the second week of filming. Darryl made a phone call to the payroll company and found out that Anthony never signed a contract with them and had never made a deposit into the account. In addition, someone discovered that Anthony had written fraudulent checks to all the locations, including the nite clubs The Mint and The Bungalow Club where scenes had already been shot for the film. Demanding answers, Darryl, his director of photography, and his assistant director, met with Anthony at his home. An argument ensued and Anthony told them that if pressed any further, he was going to go get his gun. Anthony demanded his camera back and Darryl refused, so Anthony began to make threatening and harassing phone calls to Darryl after he left that night. The calls became intense, and the next night we discovered some thugs standing outside of the apartment that Darryl and I shared. We both decided it was best for us to go away ourselves for a while, and we stayed with different friends across town. Anthony filed charges against Darryl for not returning the camera, but the judge dropped the charges when Anthony never showed up to court.


I still get calls from the LAPD, asking me if I know of his whereabouts. The next time I saw him was when I turned on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I suddenly got a chill that ran down my back. I was watching with Clarence Reynolds and we both looked at each other because no one would have believed what we were seeing. He had gone through the Tony experience with me. It was no surprise that the “party planner” was the highest rated episode of The Real Housewives. They even used the clip for the opening of the current season. It was the only thing REAL about the REAL Housewives of Atlanta.

with NeNe Leakes at the Leimert Park Book Fair

Cause what you got that'll make you lose 

And then turn around and step in your shoes 

I said they'll turn around And step in your shoes 

So you better keep an eye on your close friend 

You better watch out for your close friend 

Don't trust nobody Don't trust nobody 

Keep an eye on your close friend

30 Minutes Before Midnight: Hair

30 Minutes Before Midnight: Hair: "I watched and cringed today when I observed the woman with the badly done weave sitting in the sauna next to me. What must be growing und..."

What Are You Doing for National Coming Out Day?

In the wake of the Bishop Eddie Long scandal and recent gay suicides, author Dale Madison releases his second book, Sissy Sammy in the Land of WEHO 90069. The story, an illustrated fairytale tackling the coming out of the closet experience, follows Sammy, an effeminate boy from Compton who ends up in West Hollywood after a bullying experience trying to find his way back home. The Wizard of Oz inspired story addresses homophobia, gay bashing, suicidal thoughts, name-calling and the history of the gay rights movement.

 

As part of National Coming Out Day, Dale Madison, will hold a staged reading of Sissy Sammy for In The Meantime Men’s Group, a Los Angeles community service organization that enriches, empowers, and extends the lives of inter-generational black men, respectful of sexual orientation, through social, educational, health and wellness programs and services. 

• Tragically, LGBT youth are taunted, harassed, bullied and even worse. One in four becomes homeless after coming out to their parents.
• The risks to LGBT youth during their adolescent years are greater than heterosexual youth because of the need to please parents can also involve suppressing same-sex desires and behaviors triggering negative emotional responses. This triggers isolation when combined with peer pressure, suicide seems like the easy way out.

 

Dale Madison has always given himself permission to be out the closet. He explains that in detail in his memoir, Dreamboy: My Life as a QVC Host & Other Greatest Hits. Madison is currently in a Masters in Education program at Antioch University. His thesis tackles the use of arts as a way to make an impact on LGBTQ youth at risk of suicide and bullying 

“This book is my first step at trying to make an impact on these kids. I have been working on this project for two years, but I could never have imagined the number of suicides to come out of the last month. I feel like something is about to change in the horizon for LGBT people.” says Madison. “In a strange way, I almost have to thank Eddie Long. Out of this horrible scandal, maybe the Black church will start dealing with homosexuality differently, but most importantly people will begin to understand why we cannot stay in a closet.”

He references pop culture musical lyrics and gay figures quotes come from Audre Lorde, Christine Jorgenson, Bayard Rustin, and James Baldwin. Madison offers vocabulary words and discussion questions as a foundation of a lesson plan.

“I read the story to a group of youth at LifeWorks, a gay mentoring program in the LA Gay & Lesbian Center.” Madison adds,” I wanted their take on the stereotypes. Many of them identified with the characters as real people in their lives. One kid raised his hand and asked what rough trade was. I answered think rent boy and he got it. I laughed to myself:

Oh my God, I think we have a gay generation gap here!”

WHO: author Dale Madison

WHAT: FREE staged reading of Sissy Sammy in the Land of WEHO 90069

WHEN: 7:30 PM Tuesday: October 12, 2010

WHERE: In The Meantime Men’s Group 4067 W. Pico Blvd. LA CA 90019

For more info: 323-733-4868 or 323-758-1337 info@damngoodman.com or inthemeantimemen@aol.com

I NEED MUSCLES

Inspirations for blogs come at the strangest moments. I was in the tree pose in yoga class,back aching and tummy trembling. I looked at the skinny male instructor executing each pose with ease and remembered I used to teach an aerobics class back in the 80’s. (Sidebar: If I were a heterosexual man in the back of a yoga class, I’d be in ass heaven There were only three guys in the class today and they were further back in the room than me!) The music of Inda Arie was gently taking me to that place in the practice where we say “namaste” (I bow to you) but my mind wanderd to Diana Ross, Muscles:

She said she wants a man to always understand

But that's alright for her, still it ain't enough for me

She said she wants a guy to keep her satisfied

But that's alright for her, but it ain't enough for me

They say they have to see his real personality

But that's alright for them, still it ain't enough for me

I need what the eyes can see, ah

(HIS ANATOMY)

My fellow blogger Corey Jarrell hit me up the other day humorously frustrated by the slim attractive looks of these young boys now-a-days. It was ironic that I was in the second week of my dedicated 5 days a week commitment to the gym. I had been going irregularly. Mostly I go to my yoga class on Thursdays and Sundays and since I bought my new Vibrams, (great for walking, hiking or jogging. My legs really feel the burn)

I’d been doing a 30 minute treadmill with Supremes disco mixes on my IPod. I recently had a rude awakening. My weight, which had stabilized at 216lbs, suddenly jumped 7 lbs to 223lbs! Then I read a Facebook posting from my diva girl Mashica who said that Satan had recently jumped on her scale and was exactly seven pounds! I upped my cardio to 60 minutes and went back to circuit weights! This was as scary as those bedbugs infesting all across the country!

If that's alright for them, still it ain't enough for me

I don't care if he's young or old, just make him beautiful

I just want some strong man to hold on to,

I want MUSCLES

Now I can admire a muscle man on television and magazines all day long, but when it comes to “luvin” in the bedroom, I LOVES me some chubby men. I loves me sum chubby, BUT I do not want to be chubby. I know it sounds weird in the body-obsessed society we live in. I am an admitted chubby chaser. I like my men to have a little jiggle in their swagger. I prefer to rub a round tummy like a Buddha for good luck. Man boobs are a turn-on. Rock hard abs, sculpted arms and an ass to bounce a dime off are great at a strip show, but in bed, I need to feel flesh that moves. I even recorded a poem about it (“Big Boiz” click #6 on the Sound Click player to the right):

Make him strong enough from his head down to his toes 

And don’t get me to talking about toes! During my shallow years, my friends can testify I have dated some awful men just because they had pretty feet and let some of the most wonderful guys pass me by because of some jacked-up toes!

Muscle man, I want to love you in the sun, oil on your body

Come with me, high in the cascades

Let this be, we've got this thing made

Lost at sea, hide the desert

Stay with me, you won't regret it

Take this love, so deep to swim in

Come to me, and let the love in

She said she wants a man to always understand

But that's alright for her still it ain't enough for me

I don't care if he's young or old

(Just make him beautiful)

I used to tell people years ago the other thing Oprah and me had in common besides Baltimore was the fact our weight zoomed up and down. During my adult years, I watched my waist go from 29 inches to 38 inches. During my modeling years, I worked as a fit sample model. I could wear the sample suits right off the racks for the buyer’s shows. Then I got into a relationship. When you are attracted to thick boys, you forget part of the courtship involves eating. I like my thick boys (and girls) happy and food makes them happy, so we eat! Two years with my wife gained me 20lbs, which I lost after the divorce, but the next seven with my partner had me finding that 20 plus 10 more pounds over the course of that roller-coaster ride of a relationship. That became my pattern. Lose the weight and find a thick sexy man and then get happy and gain the weight back.


By the time I hit my forties the additional factors of high blood pressure and cholesterol added risk factors that made losing weight more of a necessity than a pleasure principal. The only difference this time was as you get older, dropping weight is a bit more of a challenge. Less physical social activity like going to the disco, teaching aerobic classes and biking to work and more social activity like good red wine, cheese, red velvet cake and feeding ya man chocolate covered strawberries in bed became the norm. A few years ago, I grabbed hold of my waistline and did a reality show called Ship Up Shape Out and lost some weight on a seven day cruise to lose.



It is time to get those disciplines back. The weight crept up on me this time and I wasn’t even in love! NOW I’ve got to work that body. Now whenever a dude hits on me and asks “Why is a nice guy like you single?” I have to be honest and answer, “Being single is healthier for me, I eat less, exercise more and I can get into my favorite clothes.” I still crave my big boiz, but I can even only have them in moderation…30minsB4midnight

Still, I don't care if he's young or old

(Just make him BIG & Beautiful)

I just want someone I can hold on to!!

No Matter what SEX you are... We gonna be married we are

Adapted lyrics from:

Supremes No Matter What Sign You Are Lyrics

The moon shines bright above

And the courts declare it’s my night for love

Ah the beat of my heart

I feel a good vibration

Saying you and me baby

Would make a good combination

There's no need for Prop 8 to survive

Can't you see the law is defied!

I love you boy,

Now I can marry you boy

No matter what sign you are

You're gonna be mine you are

Can't let the homophobes chart our destiny

When I heard the news that Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker overturned California's gay-marriage ban Wednesday in a landmark case that could eventually force the U.S. Supreme Court to confront the question of whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to wed, I wanted to dance and shout it to the rooftops. I did not because I was standing in my jockstrap in the locker room of a local gym. One television plays ESPN non-stop and the other plays CNN. I watched as the naked towel draped men slowly approached the television in silence. Many said nothing. It made me think where I was when I heard the Rodney King verdict or where I was when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. The reporter repeated it over and over again:

"Proposition 8 singles out gays and lesbians and legitimates their unequal treatment," the judge wrote in his 136-page opinion. "Proposition 8 perpetuates the stereotype that gays and lesbians are incapable of forming long-term loving relationships and that gays and lesbians are not good parents." Walker methodically rejected every argument posed by sponsors of the ban in response to a lawsuit filed by two gay couples who claimed Proposition 8, the voter-approved ban, violated their civil rights.

“OKAY, OKAY already!” One guy shouted at the screen. I smiled to myself and imagined how many guys in that locker room were gay like me cheering inside. I mean come on, raise your hand and snap your fingers if you do not know at least one gay person.  How many Americans know someone in their immediate family who is gay? It is generally argued that one person in ten is gay. The 2000 census report says 2-3% of the United States population live in same sex co-habitation. Gay people have existed since the beginning of recorded time.   I used to say to people put a face on gay. Try to put aside religious convictions, political affiliations or stereotypical images (rumors, falsehoods, urban legends). If a gay family member or gay friend you love wants to get married - but can’t - how would it make you feel?  Put their face on your image of gay marriage.

No matter what sex you are

You're gonna be married you are

The beat of the heart my love

Is stronger than the homophobes

This court order just lit my fire

Equal rights fill me with such desire

I love you boy,

Now I can marry you boy

No matter what sex you are

You're gonna be mine you are

I know the final stages of this decision will not be felt for years, but I imagine all the things that will happen as a result of gay marriage. Gay couples are able to care for each other in times of adversity rather than relying on the state. Healthy same sex marriages provide positive role models for young gay people. Recognizing those images could reduce the number of gay teen suicides. Gay sons and daughters will feel more involved in the activities of adult family life. . The need for adoptive homes of children in general would benefit from gay marriage. Gay couples seek to adopt children because they cannot conceive in the traditional sense. The result is more children get to find homes of loving families. The emergence of the gay family unit goes beyond gay teens. Gay marriage would allow same sex couples with the same basic rights heterosexual people take for granted. Gay people have children and those children need the stability and economic security provided by legal marriage. Both partners will have equal shares in legal and health decisions.  Families headed by same-sex couples would then have equal access to employer-provided health and retirement benefits.  Gay spouses would be entitled to the same sick and bereavement leave to care for a legal partners and non-biological/adoptive children.  Equal access to pensions, workers compensation, Social Security death benefits and spousal benefits would be taken for granted.  How does it feel to have a civil right denied your sister or her children from a gay union, because of her sexual orientation or lesbian relationship? Put your most beloved family member’s face in that situation.

Can't let the homophobes chart our destiny

Oh no matter what sex you are

You're gonna be mine you are

Need you beside me love

Only you can guide me love

Marriage is an important heterosexual cultural symbol and a good example of how white heterosexuals are privileged.   Marriage is the last legally sanctioned discrimination in America. It was not so long ago that interracial marriage was forbidden. The Supreme Court of the United States struck down laws banning interracial marriage in 1967. That same civil right should be extended to gays today. The opponents of interracial marriage hid behind religion and “family” values to justify denying mixed couples the right to marry. Since that ban has been lifted, we see the institution of marriage has hardly crumbled.  Ask a mixed race person today how they would feel if their parents had not been allowed to marry.

Lezzies, Sissies, Dykes

Trans, Bisexuals, Fem Queens

Lipsticks, Tops, Bottoms

Vers, Rough Trade, Drag Queens

I don’t care about your gender sign

All I know is when same sex lips touch mine

We can be legal boy, really legal boy

No matter what sex you are

You're gonna be mine you are

In fact, multiple marriages by celebrities make one wonder whether marital laws should limit the number of marriages for all people – gay and straight!  This glorious game of “I do” and “I don’t right now” has been played out numerous times by celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor who had eight husbands and Zsa Zsa Gabor who married nine times. Lana Turner said “I do” eight times, while Billy Bob Thornton bought five wives wedding rings. Joan Collins and Geena Davis had five husbands each, while Star Trek’s William Shatner only married four times. Liza Minnelli married four men as well, but two of her husbands were gay, which is okay because the gay person married a person of the opposite sex. Jerry Lee Lewis had six wives, and one of them was his underage cousin (which is legal in some states). Sometimes the number of heterosexual marriages pales in comparison to the length of the marriages. I texted my former domestic partner:

ME: “Will you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?”

He responded back from Texas

HIM: “LOL You got it! I know it is unconstitutional to refuse it!

ME: The fight ain’t over yet. If I were ever to get the right to marry somebody, it would be you”

HIM: “And I’d say yes”

ME: “What? This from the same guy who did not believe in marriage when we were             together?”

HIM: “LOL Well You know how that goes. If it is an equal institution, I’m cool with it”

(Yeah I know, just make sure it’s the right sized carat!)

On my bended knee…

30minb4midnight